In many ways, children’s lives are more stressful than ever before. The constant distraction of high-tech gadgets, increasingly heavy homework loads and busy activity schedules all contribute to a rise in childhood anxiety. Many parents struggle to identify the problem: 44 percent of youth have sleeping difficulties related to anxiety and stress, but only 13 percent of those children’s parents are aware of the root of the problem.
Anxiety can also rear its ugly head in the form of stomachaches, behavioural issues and headaches. So how can parents help? If you’re concerned about your child’s stress and anxiety levels, try these three activities, taken from Generation Stressed by registered Child and Family Therapist Michele Kambolis, to playfully vanquish your child’s anxiety.
These activities are drawn from the traditions of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), positive psychology and interpersonal neurobiology. CBT treatment for children with diagnosable anxiety disorder is effective in 85% of cases, and its benefits are maintained over time.
From Generation Stressed, by Michele Kambolis:
Balloon Buster
Materials needed: balloons and a permanent marker
Most ch
ildren will tell you the Balloon Buster is their favorite activity in the CBT toolbox: it’s fun, cathartic and easy to do. Use this tool to turn things around when a child is in the grip of a “thinking trap”. In fact, some parents have been known to carry a bag of balloons with them for negative-thought emergencies.
STEP 1: Help children identify a negative belief that’s contributing to their anxiety or discomfort. The negative belief usually starts with “I” (e.g., “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do it.”)
STEP 2: Look through the list of thinking traps and help kids to determine which culprit might apply. This step helps them to discredit the negative belief and shows that it’s simply inaccurate.
STEP 3: Encourage children to let go of the negative belief by breathing it out of the body and into the balloon. With each breath, they’re making that negative belief smaller and leaving more room for empowering thoughts. (Keep in mind that some children have a hard time blowing up balloons, in which case you can set them up for success by doing it for them. Simply ask them to pretend they’re blowing it up themselves.)
STEP 4: Leave the balloon untied; just have children pinch the opening closed with their fingers. For extra effect, write the negative belief on the balloon with a permanent marker. Tell them that they can get rid of the negative thought by releasing the balloon and letting it fly around the room. You’ll probably notice them burst into laughter as they see the balloon (and their negative thoughts) fly out of control.
Worry Wall
Materials needed: sticky notes, markers
Imagination is the most powerful tool kids have to conquer anxiety and the thoughts that fuel it. The Worry Wall thought buster lets children use their imagination and externalize those counterproductive worry thoughts by building walls that can be torn down “brick” by “brick.” Make space—some of these walls can fill an entire kitchen or living room!
STEP 1: Introduce kids to this activity by letting them know that you’ve been thinking a lot about their worries and you have a special way to help get those worries out of their head. Some people imagine there’s a “worry bug” that likes to munch on worries; the more worries that bug eats, the hungrier it seems to get. One way to block the bug from feeding on worries is by writing them down and sticking them on a “worry wall.” They may want to include a
solution if the worry is one that can be solved. Once those thoughts are on the worry wall they’re no longer in our mind—the worry bug can eat the worries on the wall instead! Once the worries are out, the worry bug has nothing to eat and goes somewhere else.
STEP 2: Encourage children to write or draw as many worry thoughts as they can and stick all their worries on their very own worry wall. Remind them that once the worries have been written down, they don’t have to think about them anymore.
STEP 3: Now here’s the most important part: each worry needs a positive thought to replace it. Have kids build another wall—their optimism wall. For each worry, create two thoughts to replace it; make sure those new thoughts are optimistic ones. By the time the wall of optimism is finished, it will be twice as big as the worry wall!
STEP 4: Once children have built their optimism wall, invite them to go ahead and tear down their worry wall, munching up the papers in their hands just like the hungry worry bug.
Fear-Fighting Spray
Materials needed: glitter, calming essential oils, glycerin, spray bottle, label
This tool instills in kids a sense of inner control and strengthens their belief that they are strong enough to face their anxieties and fears.
STEP 1: Half-fill the spray bottle with water and add a few drops of glycerin, which will keep the glitter from sinking too quickly to the bottom. Add a few drops of the essential oils—just enough to give off a nice scent without being too overpowering. Add the glitter and top up the bottle with water. Put the lid on and shake it up. This is the special fear-fighting spray.
STEP 2: Give kids this spray and allow them to create a “force field” around themselves whenever they sense anxiety beginning to take over their body. As they use the spray to bounce back those feelings of fear, children learn that they have the power to fight back.
STEP 3: Once the force field has been created, ask them to close their eyes and take one deep breath in and out. Ask them to think about or speak aloud one positive affirmation, quote or thought, such as “I can do this,” “I am safe” or “This will not defeat me.”
You can find more symptoms, causes and solutions for your child’s anxiety in GenerationStressed by Michele Kambolis.
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Hi Maggie, I love the way you suggest parents know their children have stress or worry by figure out reason such as their self doubt about their ability “I not good enough or I can’t do it”. My other suggest parent can do if they know their children have problem with this, they can explain for them understand they should trust and answer what they can do, then efforts to do it and done it even they can require for help or ask other people give advice. Then even things they don’t accomplish don’t make them feel bad, because it doesn’t matter. They do all they can, this only important for their grow.
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